I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
