im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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