He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
