margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
