Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize