Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize