8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize