Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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