I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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