just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
