I wish I only lived at night.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
