he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
