No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just want to make out with him forever
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
