This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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