Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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