you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
