I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
