just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I booty called her while she was in labor.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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