I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
