I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
