Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
