worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
