There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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