So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
