Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
