i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
