if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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