whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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