so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
