Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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