Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
