my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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