she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
