Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
