You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
