I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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