put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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