ugly people sure do ruin things
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize