Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
