We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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