I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
