Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
