In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
