dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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