I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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