I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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