Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
