Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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