So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
