that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
