You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
