I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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