Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
