its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
