i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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