Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
