you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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