I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize