He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
