My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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