you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
