I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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