I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
