He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
